TORNADO ALLEY

When I was a teenager I had a dream I was about to drive off a cliff when a tornado came out of nowhere, snatched me up, spun me around til I was desperate and crying out to God, then set me down on the grass without a ding. I have a very special respect for tornadoes. Particularly now, after standing on the porch of the Holiday Inn & Suites off of Highway 412, across from an oil refinery just west of Tulsa at 6pm last night.

From Dallas to Wichita there progressed almost a perfectly straight swath of storm on May 24, west of which it was a bright sunny day, east of which it looked like a methane midnight. We stood on the porch with several locals, watching the clouds roil and spin over us, seemingly close enough to touch, feeling the rain get nearer and nearer with each dropping degree & ducking like animals every time lightning busted right over us. “So when do we start heading inside?” we asked. “You’ll hear it,” they replied with a grin. “Sounds like a %@#ing train.”

The folks in Oklahoma have a humblingly practical outlook on life & death during tornado season. If it had been just Jay & myself taking shelter there, we would have been in the basement missing a completely impressive display of mightiness. But the folks we were sharing a lobby and porch with were in uncommonly high spirits, smiling and joking about the ways we could meet our ends, telling us stories of how they’ve “camped in worse than this,” and generally making us feel a lot safer even though we were staring one of the biggest storms either of us had experienced right in the fearful face. We were all pumped with adrenaline of course, but never had to run for the basement of the hotel.

Soon the rain began to fall down (as opposed to sideways), the air lightened and the temperature began to rise again, which is when we heard tornado sirens go off in the city of Tulsa just east of us. The worst of the storm had passed right under our noses.

If they don't delay my flight too much more, I'll soon be in Spokane, WA, drinking tea in my old room. If you're in the area and of the mind, come enjoy our Andrews Sisters review at Heritage Funeral Home in honour of Bob Hope and all veterans: http://www.heritagefunerals.com/fh/calendar/calendar.cfm?&fh_id=11479